Inspired

I find sometimes life just hums along. There isn't anything tragic happening, there isn't a lot of extra demands. The bills are being paid, everyone is healthy, the kids are doing good in school. You know, just life happening rather uneventfully.

Then out of no where you wake up one morning and there it is... the anxiety and out-of-sorts feeling that I personally really don't like. After spending time trying to figure it out. I start writing. Nothing comes so I write some more. I have this desperate need to figure this out in the first few moments. Rarely does that happen. This familiar place as uncomfortable as it is, shows itself to be very useful to me.

As the day goes on, I remember the one thing that is supportive to me during these times. It is me. So I write to myself. What is it that I have neglected, denied, turned my back on? I have simply decided there are things going on I don't want to deal with.

So, I surrender. I surrender my feelings, my thoughts, all the things that seem overwhelming today. I surrender my schedule, demands, the last very stubborn 5 lbs that won't come off no matter what I do and my mind to God. Because, it is Christ who loves me more than any person ever could. I always forget that I am not the center of the universe. The world does not revolve around me. There is an order to life. I am thankful today that I don't have to be God today. I don't have to be god to my daughters, husband, friends, parents, co-workers, clients, or the mean person at the store. I can just be me! Flawed and imperfect but willing to grow and learn and accept my place in the world.